Madness
by wisdomsdaughteriscrazy
Summary: Alex has been captured and tortured. These are his thoughts as he slowly goes insane. Rated T cause you just never know. One-Shot.


**A/N: Hello. So this is what came out when I was completely bored out of my mind being constantly elbowed by my sister sitting on a cramped airplane for 4 and a half hours coming home from the worst holiday _ever_. and I'm sick too. So it sufficed to say i was feeling fairly dark and angsty or maybe it was the 3 hours of sleep talking, I'm not too sure. But here we are, dark Alex Rider one shot! yay! you now get to read my super confusing ramblings, hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: i feel like i don't really have to do this for a one-shot...so he's mine! **

**(if it's unclear, the 'Drip' is the sound of dripping water! go figure...)**

* * *

Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
Why? Why me?  
The boy next door would have probably been fine, probably killed to have this life. But I know differently. This world is a screwed up mess and once you're in, you're in for life. All the cold, calculating, dead eyes that stare back from the people you pass. The nutcases you deal with on a daily basis. Psychologist my ass. I'm talking about the world of espionage. All those goddamn spy's. They will screw you over time and time again to get what they want, no matter the price...  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
They know the clock is ticking. Every second counts and yet they do nothing. Maybe if they got a taste of their own medicine things would change. But that's never going to happen. Ever...  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
It gets louder every day, the dripping.  
The constant Drip,  
Drip,  
Drip,  
Drip...  
And then it stops. They make it stop. But only for a while. Then they make it worse. Have you ever stood under a dripping rain pipe? Or maybe put your hand under the leaky faucet. The rhythmic beat of that  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
They make it worse. Sometimes it's cold. Sometimes it's warm. Sometimes it's hot. It doesn't matter. The effect is all the same. I saw this man once on the tele. He was laying there with the chains, the water, the cold. He went completely mad he did. Of his rocker. And that was the end of him. But on it goes, that  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
The water mixes with the tears. They are all the same now. Water. Tears. The life draining, the spirit leaving, all that hope disappearing. Slowly the tears end. What am I left with?  
The ever lasting  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
Madness. I know that's what will come of me. Just like that man on the tele. It'll get to me. I know it will. It's only a matter of time before there's nothing left but a shell. I'm well on my way to that already. No hope, no happiness, no love, no will, no spirit. No life. All that's left are the memories. The memories of who I used to be and the thoughts of who I'll become. I see the laughter but feel no joy. Only the pain, as vivid as it once was, ever present in my mind. That is one thing that will never leave me. Pain. The only one who has been there from the very beginning. Always with me, always there, tucked around the corner along with that  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
The wilderness. That's how I picture my mind. A desert of heat, a forest of rain, a sea of death. Nothing is civilized any longer. My thoughts run rampage, conscience unable to tame them...  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
All the blood that stains my hands. It's everywhere. Never to leave. Just like the pain. Always there. Watching, waiting for the perfect moment to jump out. To reveal itself to those around me...  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
The constant battle between good and evil. He was right. The real me is hidden under the hero facade. Quietly lurking. Trying to break free. It jumped at the chance to escape and here we are now. Caged in by my own mind, unable to escape that  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
Kill them all, he thinks bitterly. Let them suffer how they made me. I can finally taste it. Revenge. What everyone dreams of doing but what no one ever does...kill. I've done it before. I did. It felt...brilliant. Like I held all the power in the world. In the universe. Like no one could touch me. Nothing but the  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip...  
Always there. Always watching. I can feel it you know. The dripping. Always. It never leaves. Only gets worse and worse and worse and worse. I've been here a while. Not sure how long anymore. Hours, days, weeks, months. They all meld together as does the  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drip.  
Drop.

And then it stops. The dripping ceases and I'm left a shell. A shell in chains. Bound to a table as i lose myself in that wilderness... Then it starts. The talking. The beeping. The numbness. No one knew. No one could know. No one would _ever_ know just how I felt. The dripping...it never does end, does it? It won't ever stop. Not on its own. All this. And for what?

Nothing.

All for nothing.

It would never end.

Ever.

They would find me again.

They would try and fix me.

But I can't be fixed.

I was empty.

And in the end all that was left was the

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip...

* * *

**A/N: So? confused? cause i know i was and still am:p review and tell me what you think. im genuinely curious to know how well this turned out.  
**


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